Black-lash the everyday experience of terrorism

When we examine the recent bombings and ponder the destined backlash our brown comrades will endure and how to support them through it, do we also reflect on the daily terror that is our lived experiences as Black folks or are we too dark to be worthy?

The Black backlash is everyday, everywhere it is prevalent and persistent. It comes from the dark abyss of white power (in our universities, our workplace, where we volunteer, where our kids go to school), white passing privilege and from people of color who gain access to traditionally white only places of power based on the skin color gradient at the door. Its the social hierarchy of white supremacy that teaches us that the closer you are to whiteness the prettier, smarter, more trustworthy, more qualified, less violent and more reliable you are.

I recently had a well known brown feminist dog me to someone in the nicest, most politically correct way I've heard in a while, by condescendingly commenting on how well my attire fits in/ assimilates (for a Black woman) at a traditionally white only feminist space that she a brown woman holds power in. The compliment it was mean to be was over shadowed by the over sized "but" that followed, then a "...I highly recommend (insert name of white woman) instead."

Sure it hurt, but not as much as the realization that someone who was considered trusted, as an ally is thoroughly infected by the anti-Black racist plague that is so easily visible thus readily diagnosed in white women. Then slowly all the previous feedback received including descriptive words usually used when describing the angry Black Woman trope or the need to sideline Trans women issues all started to make sense. The symptoms where there all along.

As Black women we understand struggle, survival at all cost, we empathize not just for empathy sake but because we have first hand knowledge of a lifetime lived daily as the ultimate kicking stone of our society. Sure we stand in solidarity with the displaced and victimized women around the world, especially in war torn parts of Asia and the Middle East and on unceded land here at home; and firmly oppose to Islamophobia everywhere. We can often be seen supporting if not leading inter-sectional causes with other Black, Indigenous folks and People of Color (BIPOC) everywhere on college campuses, from Blacklives to Plastine, LGBTQ2IA, Sex Worker Rights, Homelessness, AntiPoverty, Fight for $15 and beyond.  

The question are:

• With white supremacy functioning in all our progressive feminist spaces when will Black women be supported on the merits of our characters and body of our work rather than the amount of melanin in our skin? 
• Is feminism only for white women and women who closely resemble them in looks and their ability to keep the doors firmly closed on Black women?

The present past of our forgotten Womyn

Sitting with today's events unable to unpack some that are so heavily steeped in white supremacy, anti-blackness and self hate. The mounting effects of colonialist genocide, patriarchy in all its violent hues, affecting generations of women birthed into slavery; the cycle of violence upon our bodies has been relentlessly consistent and audibly visible on our mother's bodies and her mother before her.

Today I met my 96 year old great grandmother: I saw my daughter in her and heard my mother's voice in her laughter, I felt my grandmothers compassion when she embraced me and for the first time I understood what it meant to be fierce. We sang together, we talked about food and joked about everything including our uncomfortable shared history, but mostly I watched her. I watched her breath with defiant ease, quietly, on purpose and on point, like every breath inhaled is act of war we must not only survive but win.

I have much to unpack, much to learn and share, for now I'll leave you with this: a song that all five generations of Black Xamaycan womyn sang in a small room in East New York one very hot day in August 2015.

The conflicted feminist: Boycotting Rabble.ca

In May there was a call to boycott Rabble.ca queen mother Megan Murphy - a hateful white feminist who purports to speak for people like me *gulp* but who is in fact the racist transphobic, anti sex working incarnate of a wolf in sheep clothing riding a white savior horse. She is the white pearl clutching feminist your mother should have warned you about because feminism and freedom only looks like what she defines it as, so does consent and what is sexy. cliff notes version: you can only consent to sex under her very privileged defined options, trans women aren't women and women can only do "sexy" in very specific very white centric ways. Did I miss anything? oh yeah you must agree with her or you are aiding the silencing of all women, and any men that disagree with her views especially black men she calls them misogynistic and "bros".

This blog post isn't about the violence perpetrated by the platform of pearl-clutching white savior types or the feminist media who gives them an all out unchecked, unchallenged pulpit.

Instead this blog is for the conflicted feminist who agree that MM is toxic but who are having mixed feelings about the effects of boycotting any woman; after all she is in sheep's clothing.  
"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot.  So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." - Revelation 3:15-16 (ESV)

Yeahhh I haven't quoted a bible scripture in a while: I was raised a devout Christan (much like glitter and dog hairs some things unfortunately take a lot longer clean up and to get off you) but this one really nails it on many levels.  

Dear conflicted feminist,

The benefits from the 1st boycott for me personally has been solidarity with marginalized sex workers who were not familiar with Rabble's stance on the matter and an invaluable international and local support from all people both sex workers and allys.

I know it can be easy to forget the level of personal impact support can mean, for me personally it felt like my life as a Black woman mattered to not only WOC sex workers but to other feminist who otherwise would not have taken a stance.

Feminist everywhere took a stand, and defended their stand not just for Sex Workers but for the most marginalized of us Trans women, Women of Color especially Black and Indigenous  who experience the severe impact of the vitriolic hate of Rabble's base MM like supporters. 

Indeed it is difficult to support the most marginalized of us and as a seasoned community organizer I understand that victory is rarely swift and sustained success is never won after the first attempt. 

“You can’t dump one cup of sugar into the ocean and expect to get syrup. If everybody sweetened her own cup of water, then things would begin to change.” –Florynce Kennedy

Yes, I will also agree that their has been some divisiveness within those that do support sex workers rights and that is to be expected. Supporting Sex Workers rights while a great umbrella cause isn't protective enough to weather the specific ways in which the most vulnerable sex workers face harms.

Being a great feminist ally who supports the rights of sex workers also means standing firm on a intersectional view of feminism that not only includes but champions the needs to the most marginalized sex workers. It means analyzing the discourse of race, class and transmisogyny in feminist circles. It means not speaking over but also echoing the voices that aren't often heard (Trans, Queer, Poor, informally educated, diffrently-abled, undocumented, migrant). Yes that means that white women must be silent in-order to listen and to create these much needed spaces for the racialized and marginalized of us to be heard.

Yes being silent isn't easy for folks with race, class and educational privilege nor is is easy to hear that your feminism isn't intersectional, needs sharpening and upgrading because both implies that where you are now isn't enough and is in fact damaging; and this is not an easy pill to swallow for the best of us.

For others who are not passive in their intersectional feminist approach, who's love for the movement inspires them to call up / call out other feminist (who support the rights of sex workers) to re-educate and sharpen their approach to not only include but champion the proliferation of voices most marginalized by white supremacy and misogyny.

They are called divisive because they choose not to take the passive, less inclusive path, they are called flawed because their approach is transparent. They are called weak, riddled with guilt and radical because they would rather that paid speaking engagement, space in that popular magazine, grant and spotlight be given away to someone with less privilege, and less opportunities; but personally  I call them allys.

 Ally ship with racialized and other marginalized sex workers is a killer stair-master that requires a lot of continuous work and as such I have nothing but compassion for those who choose to pick their battles carefully and thoughtfully because I also know of the heart wrenching disappointment of having comrades who choose to walk away when the fight gets too tough or too inconvenient for where their conviction on human rights and equity are.

Much like being at a breast cancer rally when one of your friends yells all cancers matter, it can also be embarrassing and feel defeating.

I have a lots of empathy for where you find yourself and while your support isn't contingent on me moving forward with my continued support to boycott Rabble.ca It would be more than lovely to count on you as an ally, to have you stand by me and for others like me to make a stance (even if you find it  frivolous) against any magazine that supports hate speech, if for no other reason than that you understand that it is a violent attack on the most marginalized women and your conviction, your feminism wont allow to to idly stand by and watch.

"We demand a discerning voice of equality and equity that respects and values all women including trans women, women of colour and women in the sex industry. Displays of racism, whorephobia and transmisogyny have no place in a progressive publication like Rabble. It is time for Rabble to take responsibility and cease offering a platform for hate in the form of zealous bigotry from Meghan Murphy and others like her." - Boycott MM Petition written and undersigned by feminists, grassroots community groups and organizations that support intersectional feminism.

STRUT
Maggie's - Toronto Sex Workers Action Project
Black Lives Matter - Toronto
No More Silence
TransPride Toronto
Canadian Alliance for Sex Work Law Reform
Southwest Ontario Sex Workers
Stella, L’Amie de Maimie
PACE Society (Vancouver)
Sex Professionals of Canada
Winnipeg Working Group for Sex Workers’ Rights
PIECE Edmonton
Butterfly (Migrant and Asian Sex Workers)
Toronto Migrant Sex Worker Project
ASTT(e)Q : Action Santé Travesti(e)s et Transsexuel(le)s du Québec
Shameless Magazine
Desiree Alliance, USA
SHOP (Nfld)
St. John's Status of Women Council
Sex Worker Open University (UK)
Sex Workers Outreach Project - New Orleans (SWOP-NOLA)
Sex Workers Alliance Ireland (SWAI)
No One Is Illegal - Toronto
Toronto Trans Alliance
Community and Family Aid Foundation - Ghana
Centre for Women and Trans People - York University
 Pembe Hayat/Pink Life LGBTT Solidarity Association, Ankara-TURKEY

white supremacist agenda – systematically eradicating black lives

 

 Policing - in charge of extermination and procurement

Justice system – Ensuring detainment and normalizing of mass slavery

Educational system – Erasure of history, of self-value of self-worth. Indoctrination, introduction to militarization, behavior modification: how to be and act civilized like good white folks.

Religion – reinforcement of behaviour modification, mental and emotional slavery, pacify any means of rebellion thru indoctrination, subjugation. Insubordination = eternal damnation but obedience = eternal life.

Militarization – Money = More Power. Power is Safety, freedom, and Love therefore more wars equals increased freedoms

Media and popular culture – demonizing black: physical traits, black love. Appropriation and rebranding of black music, food and clothing.

What I was taught:

Black men are thieves, liars, fornicators, family deserters, violent thugs, who’s only value is in his ability to labour. Once naturalized and tamed his agility and strength can be capitalize upon.  

Black women are promiscuous, reproduce wildly, uncontrolled, loud, the source of problem, they must be controlled, sterilized and made to watch their off springs suffer, be enslaved, and executed. Their wombs are cursed with the diseases of blackness, they produce only social plagues.

What I did:

Maintained a socially upstanding life, as a leader at school, in the military, and at church; as an educational over achiever.  As an only child failure was never an option and I met and exceeded all expectations. Marrying at 21 to the 1^st white* man who professed love.

How I continue to unlearn:

Motherhood, failure, depression, suicide, cycle of self-destructive behaviours, truth, rebellion, love, community, organizing, constant life exfoliation and re-growth.

Practicing Black love as a Black person is truly a militant and revolutionary act.

Shadow

I am the pain on your soul.
You've been: bled, torn open, walked on, brutalized and left to rot.
You can try not to be defined by your past but your history was barely survivable.
I see your smile and I hear your shallow breath when you say you are "OK".
But I know too well the weight of your story, the paralyzing fear that keeps you up at night and crippled in bed during the day. I see your your dreams been flooded by nightmares of not being able to protect your own from a similar faith. And while you are not defined by your trauma you will never be afforded the ability to just walk away.
Do not be fooled... I am with you always, I am your shadow; embrace me. 

*Image by Kevin Sweeney. 

THE ANGRY BLACK WOMAN

So much anger, ripe disdain, murderous rage, her loud. screaming. voice. The savagery that is the angry black woman narrative.

She must be conquered, she must be laid bare, her loins are possessed with evil desires and her womb is cursed to churn out, litters of black babies and the worst of all atrocities the monstrous black boy.

This narrative is more poisonously popular today than it was in the days of slavery, back then the black woman could be tamed by the gruesome beatings of the black man and raped into submission by her white master.

Then there were the Nanny of the Maroon's, the Rosa Parks, the Ella Baker's, the Angela Davis, the Audre Lorde's, the Assata Shakur's, the Diane Abbott's. 

No longer were we just a quite place to pour the rage and frustrations that is the emasculation of black men, nor were we just a warm wet hole to conquer by our white masters. We the Black women of this world have an elusive power, our resiliency, and a wisdom that echoes thru our children. We teach them to read, to dream, we have given birth to new generations and with that we gave them something that is surprisingly more powerful than others could have imagined... we have given our descendants hope.

I sit my daughter between my legs; legs that had been forcefully pried open by your patriarchy and white supremacy. I slowly part her hair, and gently rub in the oils of my fore-mothers as I tell her stories of Anansi the spider's cunning and Nanny's leadership, I sing her songs of freedom, and recite Miss Lou's poetry. I do it all: with a mothers touch, fierceness, love and solidarity.

Yes. I am angry, I am the angry Black Woman you speak of. 
I am passionate, I am strong,

 I have the power and the stillness of the side eye.

 I am a freedom fighter, I am a revolutionary leader,

 I wheel the powers and the pleasures of my own body. 

I am a visionary, 

A nurse, I am a mother, I birth nations of black souls 

and I equip them with the strength, wisdom, courage, 
and knowledge of their ancestors.

I am the embodiment of hope and change 

'cause betta mus com.