Five key steps to displacing your whiteness

1. Lean in. Sometimes Afrocentric knowledge hurts, and that's when you need to lean in and open up more, decentralizing whiteness is like debriding centuries old wound that is rotten to the core. You will have to work hard and quickly before sepsis sets in.

2. Old habits die hard.
Decentralizing your whiteness is not a gift to People of Color, Decentralizing your whiteness is NOT a gift to People of Color, therefore we do not owe you our labor or knowledge for free.

3. Stay the course. Do not feel berated or discouraged when those oppressed refuse to help for free. While you may not have directly participated in colonization and slavery you have been born into a world where you continually profit from its systemic inequalities. see step 2 above.

4. Double Down. Knowledge is power, so keep reading keep reflecting on how you have unwittingly contributed to the status quo, keep unlearning and then do the work QUIETLY (do not expect an ally ship cookie), donate, show up when needed and collect your friends when their privilege starts leaking (white tears are a valuable asset that signals they might want to start at step 1. above)  

5. Pass it on. If you learn something new you will be expected to clue in your other white friends and family members (this might be hard, so seek support from your community) never forget that while privilege isn't contagious it does leak and even with your new found knowledge you have not arrived at ally-ship mecca.

*ally-ship mecca is the mythical place where you end up after clocking a set amount of allyship hours, once you are there you are not only absolved of all privileges (while still benefiting from them) but you then become immune to ever being guilty of not being a super ally.

Race relations Canada vs USA

*backpost from November 2014 - Its a little ranty but thats ok :)

Thinking Canada is any better than the US is just naive.

Thinking that the Special Investigations Unit's (SIU) are any better than the police they investigate is just naive

2012 Ontario ombudsman says its problematic that SIU investigators arrived at the scene with “a whole bunch of preconceived notions of self-defense"

Thinking that if a black man was mercilessly gunned down that you would have answers or the very least know the name of the officer who killed him is just Naive.
Ask the family of Jermaine Carby

Thinking the police would lay charges against one of their own if the police ran over and killed your 5 year old black child while: speeding, running a red light, in an unmarked car without any flashing lights or a siren then you are naive. Ask the family of Nicolas Thorne-Belance, in Montreal

DONT BE NAIVE - Canada is packed filled with racist ideologies, and governed through systemic oppression.

Continues to chant "The system isnt broken it was built this way" #BlackLivesMatter 

white supremacist agenda – systematically eradicating black lives

 

 Policing - in charge of extermination and procurement

Justice system – Ensuring detainment and normalizing of mass slavery

Educational system – Erasure of history, of self-value of self-worth. Indoctrination, introduction to militarization, behavior modification: how to be and act civilized like good white folks.

Religion – reinforcement of behaviour modification, mental and emotional slavery, pacify any means of rebellion thru indoctrination, subjugation. Insubordination = eternal damnation but obedience = eternal life.

Militarization – Money = More Power. Power is Safety, freedom, and Love therefore more wars equals increased freedoms

Media and popular culture – demonizing black: physical traits, black love. Appropriation and rebranding of black music, food and clothing.

What I was taught:

Black men are thieves, liars, fornicators, family deserters, violent thugs, who’s only value is in his ability to labour. Once naturalized and tamed his agility and strength can be capitalize upon.  

Black women are promiscuous, reproduce wildly, uncontrolled, loud, the source of problem, they must be controlled, sterilized and made to watch their off springs suffer, be enslaved, and executed. Their wombs are cursed with the diseases of blackness, they produce only social plagues.

What I did:

Maintained a socially upstanding life, as a leader at school, in the military, and at church; as an educational over achiever.  As an only child failure was never an option and I met and exceeded all expectations. Marrying at 21 to the 1^st white* man who professed love.

How I continue to unlearn:

Motherhood, failure, depression, suicide, cycle of self-destructive behaviours, truth, rebellion, love, community, organizing, constant life exfoliation and re-growth.

Practicing Black love as a Black person is truly a militant and revolutionary act.

Celebrating the lives, history and strength of those who were never meant to survive.

Heading to the beach in hopes of finally discussing HER aboriginal history with her. Not sure how much is too much and even where to start.
Reflecting on the stories of the residential-school system HER grandaunt shared with me, the separation from her family, everything she knew and the impact it still had on her.
Cherishing my baby's happiness in celebrating a day of her colonizers never sat well with me but here we are:
I'm dragging ass to the beach praying to the ancestors; hers and mines for wisdom, guidance and courage.
Shes smiling and skipping along in a oversize red Canada day hat she was gifted. #lesigh #ohCanada

Breaking up with Christianity

When I tell people I was raised very religious a certain look washes their face as a noticeable computation of what that would look like on me and whether to offer a sympathetic ear. 

The truth is I would rather come out a thousand times over as gay/queer before I say what I know in my heart is true ... that I've denounced my faith in Christianity. It is such guarded information that this is actually the first time I've thought it out loud.

The "why", is much longer than I would have time or space to write about or openly process. 
But I can say the "how", and that its been a very long time coming. I can say that Christianity has had a profound impact in my life.


Dear Christianity,

I will refrain from saying "its not you its me" the truth is its mostly you.

I have loved you from before I knew myself, we started this relationship at such an early age that I never really thought twice about the potential of a break up. You have been there for me and with me through some extremely difficult times and I know I wouldn't have survived otherwise. There were times I felt abandoned and ignored by you; when you stood by and allowed my innocence to be stolen, I wondered if you were cheating on me or if you just didn't love me anymore.  Like a naive yet obedient child I thought that I could solve my dilemmas by loving you more, committing to you more, giving more, being more than I ever thought possible. I attended every denominational service I could find, but even that didn't prevent it, it didn't prevent them.

Then you told me to not live by works but by faith, which I can say has been one of the greatest parts of loving you. Holding on to hope, as I barricaded my doors nightly. I prayed that you would see my undying faith, my lack of interest in sin and my commitment you.

After moving to Canada I knew you loved me and I wallowed in your bosom. Forsaking all else I join up, signed in and was baptized, renewing our wedding vows again for the forth time. I led many to you, recruited many for you and remained devoted throughout. I stifled my lust towards my gay female supervisor and fasted harder and prayed every time we were in the same room. I moved in with my other Christian sisters did everything with them and stayed faithfully true to your cause. I didn't know I was in a religious cult, I was blinded by love. And for a very long time I resented you and yet I felt obligated to you.

After leaving the cult I felt lost and so at a very young age I got married, instead of fornicating I lived by your words and was the dutiful and obedient wife and mother you wanted me to be. After several years my marriage crashed, I reflected on the life I've lived and the Biblically flawless choices I made. I slowly I started falling out: out of love, out of devotion out of obedience out of righteous indignation.

I purposely and methodically stripped myself bare, I saw that what I had stifled my whole life was me. I had been so easily lead, manipulated, and confined that I got used to seeing myself as a reflection of you. As I stood up for me, I had to unlearn, I had to start re-living, and re-evolving into the woman I was meant to be, the mother I wanted to be and the warrior I was destined to be.

I don't regret our relationship, I have known and loved you longer than I have known and love myself. And I will openly admit that finding me and loving me has been and probably will be the most difficult challenge in my life. I know there will be hiccups, I know I will falter, and I have, as I am only in the infancy of self love and self actualization.

For the first time I'm starting to see myself whole. I see you, completely and I see your spirit of indoctrination. I now know that you are a Trojan horse given by my colonizers and I see how my history and true self has been systematically replaced.

I do take full responsibility for the choices I've made, and for the person I was and have become and I choose to no longer be apart of this charade. I will choose to be hopeful, I will choose to be loving and honest and true.

I choose me.

Its over and I'm officially and publicly walking away.